7 Mayıs 2009 Perşembe

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Çok güzel bir yerde geçti çocukluğum. Babamın çalıştığı fabrikanın yazlık tesislerinde, kışları sadece lojmandaki bizimle birlikte 10 ailenin yaşadığı, yazları ise bahçe sinemasından diskosuna her türlü eğlencenin olduğu bir tatil köyünde...

Bakkal çakkal bile yoktu. Kardeşlerim ve ben paranın ne olduğunu uzun yıllar bilmedik. Bayramlarda dedemin verdiği harçlıkları ne yapacağımızı bilmediğimizden yakmıştık birkaç kere. Bildiğin para yakmış bir insanım lan ben! Ona göre yani, bi terbiyesizliğinizi görmeyeyim!

Ama dedim ya yazları her türlü olanak var. Kabile hayatı şeklinde geçirdiğimiz kıştan kalma ilkelliklerimize rağmen nasıl havalıyız anlatamam. Şehirli veletler "ay ne güzel, siz hep burda mı yaşıyorsunuuuuz" diye bize özendikçe de "ne sandınız olum, buralar bizden sorulur" diye artizlik yapıyorduk. Bu tezi doğrulamak için de hemen İskender Abinin yazdan yaza işlettiği tükkana gidiyor, markalı kıyafetler içerisindeki her biri sevgi kumkuması gibi görünen yeni arkadaşlarımıza, psikanalitik nefretimizi içimize iteleye iteleye bissürü şey ısmarlıyorduk. Hah işte biz küçükken o aldığımız abur cuburun bedava olduğunu sanıyorduk. Yıllar sonra öğrendim babamın arkamızdan gidip borcumuzu ödediğini.. Tiksindim İskender abiden. En kısa zamanda kendisini Facebook'tan bulup annesine sinkaf etmeyi düşünüyorum.

Neyse işte asıl mevzuya geleyim. Kışları yalnızlık çekmeyelim diye bütün komşular anlaşıp aynı dönemde hamile kalıyorlarmış. Döllenme dönemleri varmış lan bizimkilerin! Bildiğin diskaviri çenıl! Örneğin o dönemde yeni bir çocuk istemeyen komşu bir dönem atlama hakkını filan kullanabiliyormuş. Benim dönemimden 4 arkadaş daha vardı. 2'si kardeş, Ahmet ve Kerim. Bunlar ortamın erkek kısmısı. Ama zaten hepimiz erkek gibiyiz. En büyük eğlencelerimizden biri, yazlıkçılar gidip kamp kapandıktan sonra barakalara girip ganimet aramak. En iyi ihtimalle birkaç sabun, birkaç eski mayo, bazen de püsküüt müsküüt... 6 yaşlarında filandık, bir seferinde 3 şişe bira bulduk. Babam içki içmezdi. Sarhoşluğu Muhsin Abiden biliyordum ve o da gayet eğlenceli bi adamdı. Kısa bir tereddütten sonra içmeye karar verdik. Daha öncesinde de çok yaramazlık yapmıştık ama bu ilk illegal eylemimiz olacaktı. Heyecanlıydık. Akşam oluyordu. Barakanın içinde yerlere oturup içmeye başladık. Güldük ettik falan. Biraz Muhsin Abi taklidi yaptık. Kerim, dağdan inen orospu çocuğu bir kurdun köye inip çocukları yediği bir hikaye anlattı. Doğu'da falan hep oluyormuş böyle şeyler ama belli olmazmış, biz de dikkatli olmalıymışız falan diye de hepten korkuttu bizi. Sonra çişimiz geldi tabii. Hava iyiden iyiye kararmış o ara. Kimsenin gidip çişini yapmaya götü yemiyor. Birbirimize sırtımızı dönüp daire biçiminde ve senkronize işemeye karar verdik. Çok ciddi bir iç hesaplaşması yaşadım. Alkolik olduğum yetmiyormuş gibi bir de götüme bakarlarsa orospu olacaktım. Bakardı o ipneler. Kesin bakarlardı. Çaresizdim. Mesanem söz dinlemiyordu. Direnemedim. Pozisyonumuzu aldık ve donlarımızı indirdik. Bakıyorlar mı diye meraktan kuduruyordum ama dönüp bakarsam da yakalanırım diye ödüm patlıyordu. Buna da direnemedim ve kafamı çevirdim. İşte o an gördüğüm götler gözümün önünden hiç gitmez...

Sonrasında arkadaşlığımız bozuldu biraz. Bir süre ablamların devreyle takıldım ama onlar da çok sıkıcıydılar. Abimler şenlikliydi ama beni aralarına almıyorlardı. Ben de gittim okuma yazma öğrendim ve babamın kitaplarına hallendim. Böyle böyle geçti zaman..

Yıllarca o günü unutmaya çalıştım. Bu olay bende bir iz bıraktı elbette. O gün bugündür götlerini gördüğüm insanlara zerre saygım yoktur. Şu anda aklına Freud gelen okurların da annelerini sinkaf edeyim.

Bugün Facebook'tan Kerim buldu beni. Arkadaşlık davetini görünce kanım dondu. Ne kadar uzaklaşsam da başaramamıştım. Geçmişim peşimi bırakmıyordu. Şimdi Kerim'i eklesem diğerleri de çorap söküğü gibi gelecekti. Birbirimize poke gönderme ihtimalizden ise hiç bahsetmiyorum..

Sonuç olarak Facebook hesabımı kapadım. Bu hikayeden çıkaracağınız bir ders yok. Boşuna okudunuz. Bunu okuyacağınıza gidin 6 Mayıs 1972'de ne olmuş onu okuyun! Cahiller!!

Bu arada OBBŞ ekibindekilerin de annelerini sinkaf edeyim.
Bitti.

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